Hoarding Resolution: Don’t Take Things Personally

Hoarding Resolution: Don't Take Things PersonallyOver the years, My Divine Concierge has participated in quite a few hoarding resolutions. These kinds of incidents can be emotionally overwhelming for everyone involved – us included. One thing we have learned is that you can’t take the stresses and emotional outbursts personally. There is too much at stake to let things get to you.

In a typical hoarding resolution scenario, My Divine Concierge is called in by either family members or friends who genuinely want to help but don’t know how. Our expertise is in the area of sorting out possessions for the purposes of disposing of clutter and creating better storage solutions for those things that will be saved. A hoarding issue makes our job more difficult because the person we are trying to help doesn’t necessarily want to clean up and clear out.

From the Hoarder’s Perspective

Let’s assume the title of this post caught your eye because you are a hoarder yourself. First, we want to be clear in stating that this blog post is not intended to be an indictment of you or others in your position. We fully understand how difficult these kinds of situations are for those involved.

Having said that, we encourage you to get help. When help does arrive, do your absolute best not to take things personally. We know it’s easy to convince yourself that your family members and friends are acting the way they are because they no longer love you. It’s very tempting to believe that the professionals who come out to assist don’t care about you and are angry for having to get involved.

None of that is true.

Your family members and the professionals who lend a helping hand are doing what they do because they genuinely care about you. Simply put, we are all concerned about your safety and welfare. Please remember that a hoarding scenario serious enough to require the help of professionals is one that can also present significant health and safety issues for you. What we want, more than anything, is to provide you with a safe and healthy environment.

From the Family Member’s Perspective

You might be reading this blog post because you are interested in helping a family member with a hoarding issue. Again, please do your absolute best not to let your emotions get the best of you. Should your loved one lash out at you for allegedly trying to ruin things, it is not a personal attack on you. It is simply a reaction to being overwhelmed by circumstances that seem completely out of control.

It is important to remember that hoarders often find self-worth in their possessions. If you are cleaning out your mother’s cluttered house, for example, it appears to her that you are throwing away everything that is important to her. That’s paramount to throwing away her self-worth. How would you feel if someone walked into your home and began getting rid of whatever it is that buttresses your self-worth?

Hoarding resolution scenarios are delicate ones that require everyone to tread lightly and work cooperatively. Indeed, this is easier said than done. We want you to know that My Divine Concierge is here to help with the cleaning out and organizational aspects of hoarding resolution. If you or a loved one needs additional help from a mental health professional, we encourage you to speak with a doctor or an appropriate social services agency.

Hoarding resolution doesn’t have to be personal. If everyone involved simply takes a step back, breathes, and commits to thinking rationally, hoarding situations can be resolved effectively and amicably.

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